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So 10 years ago, I met a friend mentioned here in this blog. She said she wasn’t very good at visiting other people, and I said, “Just visit me once a year at my place, otherwise in 8 years I’ll decide you’re selfish and shallow and that will be the end of it.” We were really good friends for 8 years until two years ago when it all went down exactly as I had predicted. Sigh. This isn’t unusual.


Twelve years ago, I started a new job and met another new recruit who I found very attractive. I soon found out he was engaged and felt rather disappointed. Intuition said, “It’s ok. In 10 or 12 years, he’ll be divorced and you two will have a chance to know each other well.”  In this case, “know each other well” meant “develop a relationship beyond professional limits unfettered by imposed sociological limits of others.” Specifically neither including or excluding romantic attachment or sex. Specifically including ongoing free expression of human connection on tems appropriate at the time.


We worked together for several years, often on yard duty together chatting, always reserved about the parts of our mutual appreciation that were sociologically inexpressible for honest people who don’t like to make emotional messes.


He was divorced about two years ago.


Today, since I am in town and he recently crossed paths unexpectedly at a convention with my daughter and other dear (also unexpectedly mutual) friends, we decided to meet this weekend. We skipped lunch or a stroll in a museum and decided I’d come over and help him patch a leaky roof. I am ridiculously pleased for a chance to feed a connection with a dear intelligent respectful interesting comrade. Though the working-together plan may be incendiary, since the dazzling real me appears quickly in those contexts.


My one true love is a long way away and married. He and I will probably have an honest chance during this lifetime and will certainly get a chance in future lives. All other relationships I have tried have utterly failed to be him. I will stubbornly hold space for that honest chance, though I expect it will be years until then.


But I’m still going to help fix that roof this weekend with lifelong friendship and a naughty spark in mind.


Hang on for the ride!

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You’re a woman brought up to be responsible, kind, and capable managing money and resources. The reasonable prosperity and growth you have come to expect is losing stability. Your responsibility and kindness aren’t preventing problems as they usually do. You’re so used to your stillness and mental power solving things that, now that those fine qualities aren’t doing the trick, you’re getting a little panicky and losing confidence in your abilities.

Good news and uncomfortable news are mixed here. Bliss and granted wishes are coming your way, but the path from here to there is marked with unexpected crisis, upheaval, and change.

For yesterday’s daughter

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Eighty percent of these cards are tumbling. You are along for the ride in your life right now. What you can do about it is manage your values and behavior well, no matter the whacked external circumstances. As usual, money and love and your soul are at stake.
You’re a woman – not *just* starting out, but you’ve only been around the block a couple times. Your teamwork and determination are central to your self-image, but your faith in yourself is shaken. You’re not on a functional team and determination isn’t fixing it. You want a lasting true love, but the partner you’re with ain’t that. You’re a skilled craftsperson, but your current situation keeps you away from that productive creativity.
Seeking personal victory over the external messes won’t get you anywhere.
Your responsibility and kindness will steer you out of this mess. That’s the path to follow.  You will rise above, victorious in your self-mastery.

For the Father of Wands

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For a creative, charismatic father who is trying to be supportive and diplomatic toward a daughter, now a young woman, who is energetically taking on the world: Your efforts are hampered by your ideas about success and reward. She doesn’t value the rewards that motivate you.
Though you wait to let things take their course and develop naturally, it is her nature to take challenges head on. She is honest and insightful, which will help her very much. The current melodramatic beginnings and early costly mistakes obstruct your view of a future for her marked with hope, peace of mind, and well-balanced generosity.
She’s a great kid. Let her make her own mistakes and trust she’ll find a way to independent adulthood.

For the December man

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For a rather magical strong-willed man who is used to enjoying achievements and triumphs…
Trying to maintain his normal sense of stillness and mental power…
But crossed by a young female, a much younger lover, whose emotional and romantic notions are getting tiresome.
Best advice is to move on.
You have a period of intense drama to endure.